Thursday, August 23, 2007

In a Daze...

I will elaborate on this later, but for lack of time, here's the long and short of it: The dojang is in debt, Mr. Coleman is in Penn. indefinitely, and Ms. Swing needs to make a living. At the end of the year, she is folding the Kim's Martial Art corporation and merging with Kyoshi Vic Coffin (Mr. Coleman's Kenpo/Karate master). So we're switching entirely to kenpo/karate. Right now, I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm pretty sure Mr. Coleman doesn't plan on moving back, which is breaking my heart. He's been my master for 12 years. He's been like a second dad to me. Our relationship means more than I can put into words. How can all of that be gone, just like that? I'm just going to go ahead and say it: This officially sucks. I guess I'm excited about learning a new style of martial arts, but to leave behind Taekwondo, my first love, my first passion. That's a lot to ask. And not knowing when/if I'll ever see Mr. Coleman again. That's the part that really sucks. Talking to Ms. Swing today, it was hard. She feels that Mr. Coleman turned his back on her, left her hanging in the middle of debt, and I can sympathize. But if it comes to it, I don't know if I'll be able to choose sides between them. Mr. Coleman is, and will always be my master and I owe my first loyalties to him. It's true that I cannot always defend the things he does, but I can and will always defend his character and integrity.
God... This is the last thing I needed, on top of the stress of starting school... I can't cry anymore. I've shed all the tears that I can bear...

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