Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Confused...

**NOTICE** If anyone from my dojang is reading this blog, please keep whatever you read to yourself. It has already leaked that there are plans to change the school and I think it might be because of this blog. So please, wait until you here this news from a RELIABLE source before you tell other people. Thank you. **NOTICE** I really don't know what to think anymore. I've talked to Ms. Swing a couple more times since my last entry and I think she was being a bit overdramatic the first time. She hasn't actually signed anything with Kyoshi or made any official plans to change the school over. It's all just in the talking process. Mr. Coleman called me this morning and we talked for a good half hour about everything. He claims that Ms. Swing lied to him on the phone yesterday and hasn't told him anything about her plans. A lot of the stuff we talked about I can't write here - I don't want anything to leak or anyone to get hurt anymore than they already are. The truth is, I don't know who to believe or what to believe anymore. I've got two people, both of whom I trust, telling me two completely different stories and dragging me into the middle of this mess. For one, Ms. Swing told me that Mr. Coleman had no plans of coming back to Asheboro. Well, I just talked to Mr. Coleman and he said if everything goes well with his father he'll be back in November - he's got two jobs with retirement down here and they've given him a leave of absence until November, so he kind of has to come back at some point. If Ms. Swing expects me to help her run this dojang, then she needs to be completely honest with me on all accounts. Otherwise, it just creates confusion. I hate drama...
So my mom and I were eating dinner at home last night, and I swallowed a sharp piece of taco shell. You know how they sometimes get stuck in your throat and you get a sharp chest pain? So that's what happened. I took a drink of water and it felt like it passed through, but then my vision started blurring and blotting out, like when you're about to black out. Then I have this vague feeling like I was having a dream about something, but I can't remember what and I woke up on the floor in my mom's lap. Apparently, I had laid my head down on the table and when my mom tried to sit me up, my eyes were rolling back in my head and I was jerking like I was having a seizure. She did the heimlich because she thought I was choking, but then she realized I was breathing. I came to after about 45 seconds and didn't remember what had happened. We went to the emergency room and I was really lightheaded and I got dizzy when I walked. We waited for about an hour, then saw a doctor. He did some tests and all that, I had an EKG, and they told us it was probably a Vegal reflex, caused by pressure on the vegas nerve which limits blood flow to the brain. I feel alright now, just a little apprehensive... Whew.... Not cool, man... Not cool...

Thursday, August 23, 2007

In a Daze...

I will elaborate on this later, but for lack of time, here's the long and short of it: The dojang is in debt, Mr. Coleman is in Penn. indefinitely, and Ms. Swing needs to make a living. At the end of the year, she is folding the Kim's Martial Art corporation and merging with Kyoshi Vic Coffin (Mr. Coleman's Kenpo/Karate master). So we're switching entirely to kenpo/karate. Right now, I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm pretty sure Mr. Coleman doesn't plan on moving back, which is breaking my heart. He's been my master for 12 years. He's been like a second dad to me. Our relationship means more than I can put into words. How can all of that be gone, just like that? I'm just going to go ahead and say it: This officially sucks. I guess I'm excited about learning a new style of martial arts, but to leave behind Taekwondo, my first love, my first passion. That's a lot to ask. And not knowing when/if I'll ever see Mr. Coleman again. That's the part that really sucks. Talking to Ms. Swing today, it was hard. She feels that Mr. Coleman turned his back on her, left her hanging in the middle of debt, and I can sympathize. But if it comes to it, I don't know if I'll be able to choose sides between them. Mr. Coleman is, and will always be my master and I owe my first loyalties to him. It's true that I cannot always defend the things he does, but I can and will always defend his character and integrity.
God... This is the last thing I needed, on top of the stress of starting school... I can't cry anymore. I've shed all the tears that I can bear...

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Changes...

A lot has changed since I last posted. Mr. Coleman sold his apartment and moved to Pennsylvania to be with his family while his father is being treated for lung cancer. He's staying up there as long as he needs to, and plans to come do group testings every three months as long as he's living in Penn. Ms. Swing and I were left in charge of the dojang, which is slightly terrifying. As of now, Ms. Swing is covering the Monday/Thursday classes, I'm helping her on Tuesdays, Rodney is teaching Fridays, and I teach Saturdays. Covering the actual classes hasn't been hard, but the absence of Mr. Coleman has taken a toll on everyone. Circumstances could change at the drop of a hat at this point, so we wait for news, and we carry on.